Eating disorders -they're not all about food!

A misconception about eating disorders is that they are just about food and people with an ED  (eating disorder) hate food. This is definitely not true, it is far deeper than that! People with an ED are actually obsessed with food and when you deprive yourself of food and don't eat when you're hungry, it's all you can think about because of a chemical called ghrelin that is the hunger hormone gets released more when you don't eat  much. However EDs are much more than food, it's about taking control of something because your life is out of control. You become terrified of everything, an ED can take over every aspect of your life.  You lose touch with friends, family and become so scared... The anxiety doesn't stop when you're weight restored and this is something people fail to understand! People think just because you are in recovery and are eating you are cured but this is not true, especially after being discharged from hospital, it is just the beginning of the journey.The recovery journey takes a long time and is very hard and complicated. It's being so scared to look in a mirror but not being able to resist looking at it to check, and no it is not vanity, it is a mental illness. There is a much deeper meaning to the reason for this, and even i don't quite understand because an ED is not logical. But there are so many emotions that come with this illness, disgust,guilt,shame,fear,sadness and much more. And the feeling that you don't deserve the help which makes it so much harder to deal with.

Comment below any suggestions of future blog posts and follow me by using the button in the sidebar.

Ela x

Bullying , it is NOT a joke!

Bullying can come in many forms such as emotional ,physical and cyber  bullying. The definition of bullying is to : 'use superior strength or influence to intimidate (someone), typically to force them to do something.'

Bullying happens in every school and i think it is absolutely disgusting! I have experienced bullying and i can say that it has definitely affected my life, it made my self esteem so low, i had no confidence at all and made me have very destructive behaviours. I was depressed and anxious all of the time and it contributed to my eating disorder, although its not the full cause. I will never ever forget the words that people have said to me. People have told me to kill myself and i seriously don't understand why you would say that,  it is so low.

A study in Britain found that at least half of suicides among young people are related to bullying! This is absolutely shocking! Nobody deserves to be bullied, no matter what they've done - and most of the time they have done absolutely nothing wrong! Bullies often use the excuse that it is 'just a joke' but do you really think tormenting someone is a joke? It can lead to mental illness, do you realise how serious that is? What will it take to stop bullying? someone that you have bullied attempting suicide?! That is absolutely sick. 

Bullies often have their own insecurities but this is no excuse, just because you feel bad about yourself you shouldn't try to make others feel as bad as you do. It is NEVER ok to bully someone. Please make sure that you tell someone if you are getting bullied because it needs to be stopped before it gets out of hand. 

Ela x

Eating disorders DO NOT DISCRIMINATE

Many people think that Anorexia nervosa in particular is a rich teenage white girl's  illness and that boys and older people don't get it. That is where they are WRONG. Eating disorders do not discriminate any race, gender , nationality, age. They are not all caused by 'wanting to be a model' it is far deeper than that. It is a complicated illness with many contributing factors. I am posting this to make people more aware that ANYBODY can develop an eating disorder. It creeps up on you and before you know it its got a hold over you.

Whilst i was an inpatient there was a variety of genders and races and yes they were all teenagers/of a similar age but this unit was especially for adolescents and there are plenty of adult eating disorder units. 

"Recent research from the NHS information centre showed that up to 6.4% of adults displayed signs of an eating disorder (Adult Psychiatric Morbidity Survey, 2007). This research suggested that up to 25% of those showing signs of an eating disorder were male." -Beat (b-eat.co.uk) 

Although this may not be  a large percentage, there are still many people suffering and probably a great amount of people undiagnosed due to lack of understanding and because society makes out that men should be strong and they may be ashamed of having an illness so may not reach out for help.

Also there are several different types of eating disorder , Anorexia nervosa, Bulimia nervosa, Binge eating disorder (BED) and Eating disorder not otherwise specified (EDNOS) More people need to be aware of the different types of eating disorders, an eating disorder does not mean somebody is skinny , it means that they have an unhealthy relationship with food.

Before the latest change in diagnostic criteria, it was estimated that of those with eating disorders, 10% were anorexic, 40% were bulimic and the rest fall into the EDNOS category which included BED. - Beat (b-eat.co.uk) 

Ela x

Recovery from anorexia nervosa, it's more than 'just eating'

Recovery from any eating disorder is extremely hard and may take many years, some say that you never fully recover from an eating disorder but just learn how to cope with the thoughts better. Anorexia Nervosa means nervous lack of appetite as oppose to anorexia which is just a lack of appetite. Not everyone who is slim has an eating disorder, having anorexia nervosa IS NOT THE SAME AS BEING SKINNY! This frustrates me so much and it is almost used as an insult when in reality it is a deadly illness. It tricks you into believing things that aren't true, for me my thoughts of disgust seem extremely real but apparently its a delusion. How can i see something different to what other people see, this is what really confuses me.

It is true that in recovery food is the medicine but gaining weight is only the first step. Recovery is so hard! It's like trying to break away from a toxic, controlling friendship. You have to fight every day despite what you may think about yourself and it takes time. The relapse rate is high which is very worrying as this illness kills people.There is a lot of psychological help needed to treat eating disorders and the NHS have been a great help in my recovery by basically forcing me to start real recovery in an inpatient unit for 6 months.

In my worst times i felt like i was in my own dark world with no escape or sense of reality. With the help of CAMHS (which I've been in for nearly 3 years in total but two of those years were for my anxiety and depression) my family and friends and my medication i am on the journey to recovery. It is so so hard and i wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. The guilt. The shame. Feeling repulsed at your own body. The constant groan of thoughts playing on your mind over and over again.

If you have a mental illness keep fighting because you are worth more than your horrible , negative thoughts!

My adaptation on nandos super grain salad

Ingredients
-100g quinoa
-100g pearl barley
-100g buckwheat
-1 avocado
-a can of cannelloni (white kidney) beans
-a couple of handfuls of spinach
-a couple of handfuls of kale
-a handful cranberries
-a handful of nuts
-half a lemon
-balsamic vinegar dressing
-a handful of fresh mint

First cook all of the grains:
Pearl barley - Rinse before cooking. Place 100g into a large saucepan with 500ml of water on a high heat. Bring to the boil and boil for 10 minutes.Reduce the heat to low and simmer for 50 minutes. It should be soft but firm to the bite.
Buckwheat-Bring 500ml of water to the boil in a large saucepan on a high heat then add the buckwheat. Stir, cover with lid and reduce to a low heat and simmer for 20 minutes. When cooked stand for 10 minutes.
Quinoa-Rinse 100g of quinoa thoroughly in cold water. Bring 300ml of water to the boil in a large saucepan over a high heat. Stir then cover with a lid and reduce the heat to low and leave to simmer for 20 minutes.

While these are cooking cook the edamame and green beans in the microwave for 4 minutes. After this pop the edamame beans out of the pod and add cannelloni (white kidney) beans. Chop up the nuts and add this to the bowl. Then sprinkle in a hand full of dried cranberries and chopped kale and spinach. Sprinkle in a bit of linseed/ flaxseed. Add fresh mint.

Wait until the grains are all cold and then mix it into the salad. Lastly at the last minute before you serve , slice the avocado. Then put the dressing onto the salad and you're done!

July favourites

Hey guys here are a few of the things that I've been absolutely loving this month!

• Pretty little liars -Season 7 is absolutely amazing and i would definitely recommend watching it. It has kept me on edge throughout each episode.

•  Flower crowns -I have literally been living in flower crowns this month. They are so summery and make me feel as if I'm going to a festival

• Eco tools make up brushes -These brushes are not only free from animal cruelty, they actually make applying make up much easier.

• Macbook air- My dad bought me a new laptop and it is AMAZING! I love it so much. I definitely recommend this although it isn't the cheapest of laptops.

• Lush Whoosh shower jelly - As i have said previously this shower jelly has a fresh citrus scent which always leaves me feeling fresh after a shower.

Comment any suggestions to other blog posts down below.

Ela x

Why we should avoid pro-ana sites!

The other day i was scrolling through my recovery account on instagram with positive posts from other people in their journey to recovery from an eating disorder then i came across a photo of somebody who was very underweight. Why would you post that when you know that other people are recovering? This could have a negative impact on somebody else journey.  People who are in recovery don't automatically get better when gaining weight or getting out of hospital, it is a long journey that could take years to recover from. Its like saying to someone who's broken their leg and has come out of hospital just walk you are fine now.

Pro-ana sites are ridiculous! People should not glamourise eating disorders, do you want me to tell you what an eating disorder is like? Your hair falling out , brittle nails , no energy    , feeling freezing cold all of the time , dizziness , feeling depressed and being withdrawn and the list goes on...

Why would anyone promote this?  i do not know! Eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any other mental illness. It is not just thinking you're fat its physically feeling the fat creeping all over you (in my experience) . It is NOT a lifestyle choice or something that people should encourage.

From my own experience i can tell you that looking at these sites only triggers you to feel worse about yourself and make things even harder, especially if you're in recovery. I think that pro-ana sites should be banned because they are promoting an ILLNESS which people can die from, if somebody made a pro-cancer website everyone would go crazy. They are both serious illnesses that people can die from.

People that make these pages must be very ill themselves and not realise the massive impact that this could have in somebody else's illness.

Ela x